The Wedding Night
by DanishBSI
Summary: Well, the title is self-explanatory. This is Holmes & Russells wedding night as imagined by me.


Solitary Stalker

The Wedding Night

Holmes stood by the hearth and stared into the flames, when I hesitantly entered our first shared bedroom. My head was sore with people chatting with me all day, and peace for a second was my first priority. I closed the door silently, leant against it, closed my eyes, sighed as quiet as I could and relaxed my brain. In the absence of concerns about the guests and the conversations, I felt something else rise to the surface. I could almost hear Holmes raising his head and looking at me with his intense eyes.

The thought of this moment, when we would finally be alone, had been buzzing around in the back of my head all day. Prior to this moment, I had done my best to ignore it. I now dug it forward into the light and acknowledged it. I must admit, it was a rather uneasy thought. I didn't have the faintest idea of what this would be like. I knew from my friends that it was supposed to be something special, but whenever I tried to inquire more thoroughly, they always seemed to slip out of contact somehow. I had lately become acquainted with love, but I didn't know anything certain about this physical part. Since the incident on the docks in London, strange currents had begun flowing in my body, but I didn't understand them. I hated when there where things I didn't understand. Now was the time to figure it out. My eyelids opened slowly, and met Holmes' gaze. I could tell that he understood. He always did. I felt a sudden warm wave of affection for this man, my teacher, my patron, my friend, _my husband._ He saw me smile and relaxed. I hadn't even realized that he was almost as tense as I was. What could he possibly be afraid of? At least, he knew the... procedure, or what shall we call it. I only knew it from biology class.

I walked slowly towards him, and said in a hopefully casual tone: "I never realized how many friends you actually have, Holmes. I didn't know half of the guests." He smiled at my pitiful attempt to ease myself, and then he suddenly swore (Holmes!), closed the gap between us in three long steps and held my very tightly into his chest. The tension between us decreased as the distance did. I couldn't help but to laugh a little at my girlish curiosity and, I admit, slightly irrational fear. Holmes held me out from him, his hands still on my shoulders, and looked curiously at me. "What's so funny, wife?" I trembled with joy. _"Wife"_ I thought happily to myself. "I forgot" I said, because I honestly didn't remember. There was a spark of surprise in his eyes, but it disappeared and turned into something else. Something desperate, that I had only seen rarely. I'll have to call it something between fear of loss and desire. I didn't want it to be there. I didn't want him to doubt me, to think, that someday, I might abandon him, like almost everyone else he had loved had done. I saw his need for me, and I wanted nothing more than to satisfy his longings. "I need you too, you know", I whispered, stretched my arms and put them around his neck. He wasn't prepared for that, I thought with a little childish pleasure in surprising him. I gave in to the magnetism and let my lips meet his. I tried to put everything I felt in that kiss. That I would never ever leave for someone else, that it simply wasn't possible. Of course we had kissed before, but this was so very different; this was going to go somewhere. When we parted after a long time, the only sounds I could hear was the rapid pounding of my heart and our deep and shaky breaths. My nose was no more than an inch away from his. I could not believe, that any other thought or wish than the desire to be even closer to him had ever lived in my mind. It took up everything. He gently stroke my back with his long, scrupulous fingers. It sent chills down my spine. He reached up and caressed my cheekbone. So softly, as if he were afraid he might brake me. It was barely a touch, and yet it felt like burning ice. I felt myself blush, and my thoughts briefly touched the subject of what to logically do next, but there was no more room for logic. Anyway, Holmes solved the problem as always. He literally swept me off my feet and carried me to the bed, where he slowly put me down. "Take care with that rheumatism of yours, Holmes", I said with amusement. As often before, the rheumatism showed only when needed. Holmes didn't even dignify the comment with an answer, but started doing much more interesting things, that effectively got my mind off any ailment of his. He solemnly removed my clothes and began to explore my body. I had thought I knew it quite well, but I realized that I had known nothing about myself until now. I could feel jolts of pleasure everywhere Holmes touched me, patient, scrupulous, gentle and setting me on fire. When I almost couldn't bear more, he stopped. And I found that that was even more unbearable than if he had continued. I opened my eyes and saw eyes as grey as a stormy sky watching me attentively. Whatever he saw made him smile a very smug smile. I allowed him to be smug. He had just given me a wonderful gift. Then he slipped out of his own black suit and went under the covers to me. I had seen him naked before under special circumstances, but again, nothing was as it had been anymore.

I decided I ought to take a little control of things again, so I began to explore Holmes the same way as he had just done with me. I now felt completely safe, and wasn't even afraid of making a complete fool out of myself by acting the innocent and curious girl. It really was most interesting to see how he responded to my touch. Giving pleasure is very different from receiving it, but equally satisfying, if a little less disturbing. When the waves where getting so high they almost carried us both away and off the edge, and I couldn't care or think about anything but the space that was still between us and the desire to close it, he hesitated and turned a fraction away from me. "I'm afraid I might... hurt you", he murmured under his breath. "Rubbish, Holmes", I purred and pulled him closer. What did I care for pain now? We reached the point where none of us could or would hesitate. I noticed no twinge at all, and I doubt I would have felt any, had it been there. All I could grasp at that instant was the feeling of such great and full happiness as I had never ever imagined. I felt like I had been wandering in an icy, frozen storm, hungry and blinded all of my life without knowing it, and that I had now finally come home to a pair of welcoming arms to be wrapped around me and a flaming fire to warm me. This was where I belonged.

Some time later I was rather tired, but as comfortable and happy as ever, and my mind was drifting off to sleep. I was in the land between being dream and reality, where you never know if the things you hear are something you imagine, when I heard a very low and soft voice breathing into my ear: "I love you, Russ". No doubt he thought I was firmly sleeping, or else he would never have let me know just how much I meant to him.

A couple of hours later, I woke and turned to look at my newly wedded husband and to smile happily at the vivid memories of the past evening's turmoil of emotions. I had never really looked at Holmes sleeping before. It was utterly informative and moving. He looked so vulnerable. He rarely let his facade fall when awake, even to me, he almost always hid his true soul behind a sarcastic demeanour. I couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact, that he was now mine entirely. I let my fingertips trace the hardly visible wrinkles on the face of the man that I was going to share eternity with, and he smiled in his sleep.


End file.
